Confessions of a climate-conscious carnivore

“So? How was it?” my sister-in-law asked.

I look away, sheepishly dap the last bit of burger sauce from my mouth with a napkin.

Everyone else at the table is looking at me now, waiting for my answer.

I clear my throat.

“Uhm. I didn’t order it.”

Silence.

My best friend side-eyes my sister-in-law.

My sister-in-law side-eyes my best friend’s mother-in-law.

My brother chortles.

I gulp down the rest of my wine.

I’d spent the first ten minutes of our lunch date preaching about the “environmentally friendly” burger patty that you could only get at this restaurant.

“They feed the cows seaweed and it makes them fart less methane, so it’s better for the planet! And it’s only $1 more than the regular patty!”

I wasn’t able to convince anyone to get the patty. Not even myself.

You’d think I, of all people, would order the lower methane patty, especially after that schpiel.

But I didn’t.

Even worse?

I ORDERED A REGULAR PATTY. WITH CRISPY BACON!

Now everyone at the table is looking at me like I just crawled out of a block of mouldy cheese.

And I feel like the biggest hypocrite on this burning planet.

At that point, I would’ve happily crawled back into the mouldy cheese to avoid the judgement and guilt.

I beat myself up over this for days afterwards. I was embarrassed, disappointed in myself, and had been exposed for the meat-eating hypocrite I was.

Why didn’t I order the “environmentally friendlier” option?

Especially when I tell people ALL THE TIME to make small changes. That every action counts, no matter how small. This was a perfect opportunity to practice what I preach. And I failed spectacularly.

Truth is, when it comes to food, I’m not at all adventurous. To me, patties from cows raised on a diet of fish food is adventurous.

What if I don’t like it and it ends up in the bin? (My husband loves to tell the story of the time I sobbed over a pile of bacon in a London restaurant because I couldn’t finish it all and now the pig died for nothing. Seriously, though. Who serves ten slices of bacon with breakfast??)

It’s bad enough that I eat meat, knowing the environmental impact. Beef agriculture alone accounts for up to 20% of carbon emissions.

It’s one area of my sustainability journey that I really struggle with even though we’ve radically reduced the amount of red meat we eat at home. So, if we go out and I feel like a steak or a burger with crispy bacon, I order it, knowing it’ll be the only red meat I eat that month.

Choosing the carbon-neutral patty does not absolve me of this guilt. It might make me feel good choosing the better of two evils, but it’s not addressing the real issue: that we technically shouldn’t be eating it at all, not waving around “greener” patties as if they were get-out-of-climate-jail-free cards.

In my mind, you either eat meat or you don’t. Changing a cow’s diet to ease our consciences so that we can keep eating beef should not give us license to maintain our current consumption levels.

Maybe I was just trying to make myself feel better, like I am now.

Still, I should’ve ordered the chicken.

— Tarryn ✌️

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The good news

👏 Senate Democrats opened an investigation into Donald Trump’s meeting with oil and gas executives last month, in which he “allegedly” offered a “policies-for-money transaction” when he asked for $1 billion for his 2024 campaign so he could retake the White House and delete President Biden’s climate regulations.

hush-money payment to a porn star

🎉 Island nations in the Pacific, Caribbean, and West Indies won a major international legal victory last week that puts more pressure on large governments like the European Union and China to curb their carbon emissions. The International Tribunal for the Law of the Sea ruled that state parties to the UN Convention on the Law of the Sea have an obligation to reduce greenhouse gas emissions. The 169 parties to the treaty include several of the world’s top emitters: China, India, the European Union, and Russia.

⬇️ US energy-related CO2 emissions decreased by 7% in 2023 compared to 2022, caused largely by reduced coal-fired electricity generation.

🛑 A study has found that the world has enough fossil fuel projects planned to meet global energy demand forecasts to 2050. Governments should stop issuing new oil, gas, and coal licences because, if governments deliver on their climate promises, no new fossil fuel projects will be needed.

🎉 The Group of Seven (G7) countries (Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, the UK, and the US) reached an agreement to exit coal in the first half of the 2030s, marking a significant first step towards the international pledge made at COP28 last year. 

👏 Three teenage friends in the US have formed the Youth Climate Initiative on a mission to plug orphaned oil and gas wells. Recently, they raised $11,000 to plug an abandoned oil well in Ohio that was leaking gas close to a horse farm. There are nearly 4 million abandoned and ageing wells across the US.

The bad news

😢 It’s a lot quieter in Mexico, where hundreds of howler monkeys have dropped dead from heat and dehydration.

⬇️ More than half of sperm samples from a French infertility clinic contained high levels of the world’s most common weedkiller, which could have significant impacts on fertility and reproductive health. Microplastics have also been found in human testicles, with researchers saying the discovery might be linked to declining sperm counts in men.

👎 A new report has found that none of the eight largest US and European oil and gas companies' climate plans align with the 1.5C warming limit.

🌴 Half of the world's mangrove ecosystems are at risk of collapse. As some of the world’s largest carbon sinks, which also protect against the strength of the ocean, this should set off more alarm bells. Mangroves can survive in harsh conditions, but they can’t survive climate change.

💸 A Reuters investigation has found that Japan, France, Germany, the US, and other wealthy nations are reaping billions of dollars in economic rewards from a global programme meant to poorer countries with the effects of climate change. The review found wealthy nations are channelling money back into their own economies, compensate poorer ones for their long-term pollution that fuelled climate change.

🇿🇦 The South African government has purchased a major oil refinery jointly owned by BP and Shell, for ZAR1.00 ($0.08). South Africa’s state-owned enterprises are riddled with corruption and maladministration. Handing them a refinery with the capacity to produce 180,000 barrels per day (about 35% of the country’s total refining capacity.

🌀 Wild weather:

• 🌪️ The irony. A tornado in Iowa wiped out a few wind turbines.

• 🌧️ A massive landslide in Papua New Guinea killed at least 700 people and buried over 2,000 alive. The landslide was thought to have been caused by recent heavy rains. The death toll is expected to rise amid untold damage.

• 🔥 The emissions generated by wildfires in British Columbia, Canada, so far this month are at the highest levels compared to any May on record.

• 🥵 India recorded its highest ever temperature of 52.9 °C last week.

• 🌊 Flooding in the Eastern Cape, South Africa, kills six.

Business news

🛑 Microsoft employees are quitting due to the company’s work for the fossil fuel industry, aimed at automating and accelerating oil extraction.

🤥 Canada's Competition Bureau has opened a formal investigation into Lululemon's environmental claims in its marketing campaigns. Lululemon launched its Be Planet sustainability campaign in 2020 with the aim of reducing emissions from its operations. Two years later, the company’s emissions have nearly doubled.

🤝 Microsoft, Meta, Google, and Salesforce have launched a new buyers’ alliance for businesses looking to purchase large quantities of carbon credits from nature-based projects this decade. The new Symbiosis Coalition aims to contract up to 20 million tonnes of high-quality carbon removal credits from nature-based projects, such as forest  and peatland restoration, by 2030.

One small thing you can do

Choose chicken.

Poultry has the least carbon emissions out of all animal proteins.

Because lots of little actions combined can add up to something remarkable.

I'll leave you on this happy note...

Now I want a pet moth.

tha_grime_minister

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